an almost to honest truth.

"if you want to find yourself by travelling out west

or if you want to find somebody else that's even better

go ahead

go ahead"

-if you want better things

then i want you to have them.

wided eyed

hmm its really quite funny how people come and go in your life.
how people start out brilliant then fall short in your beliefs.
perhaps i've seen people through this clouded veil and now im finally seeing.
its like its not the same anymore. really, a lot of things arent the same.

finding friendships in odd places, brings a smile in for a change.
ha..its quite funny how astrology works.

on a less depressing note...
i think i know what i want finally, like what i want this year
in this time of my life. somethings i want to re-establish and what not.
no more childish drama, through with petty love games, and if you
want to still be a part of me then come find me, im no longer pursuing anybody.
why chase people when theyre only bound to be let downs?

"They say a man is born to go alone

And a woman is born to weep and fret

To stay at home and drown her past regrets

In coffee and cigarettes."

-Tricky

guess who's back.

They say do things in moderation. so i suppose i'll follow words from the "wise".

Lately things have been sparadic, you know never at a constant...changing changing changing. My emotional ups and downs have just been taking a tole, wierd....we aquarius aren't too big on emotions but hey...anythings possible. For the last few months i havent felt complacent but i've been kinda blending in with my surroundings, which is not common. Dressing up seems like a chore, i feel lazy, and ive just

been taking the backseat on a lot of things.

my new years resolution has plumetted at a record high.

so: basically im in the process of remaking myself. no no no, not becoming a totally different person
none of that extreme make over type shit lol just going back to the old wild chanell. this timid chanell
is a bore and must be tossed out with the trash :d
also im developing a fondness for poetry...like free verse poetry.
amazing how many hidden poets there are lying around. ..
well that's it for now, more to come.

PS. need more of this in my life^^^

weeping willow wont you wallow any louder..

After much delay im here again. Too much has gone on but i learned dealing with death is the hardest thing. Like you always here about it but when it hits your web its devestating 'specially since it was someone very close to me, Alicia Ray my closest cousin. I said "goodbye" a few sundays ago but i can never really say a complete goodbye though, thats just damn near impossible. acceptance is the hardest bullet to bite.
Postive note im a junior now, the 4th marked that. 7th, 1 yr 8 months anniversary. I'm almost out im actually a little worried, they prepare you in school just to dump you off and leave you scared of the future. ehh im probably overthinking this i'll be fine...13th grade after 12th is how i have to look at it. haha Lately ive dived back into my pool of good vibes again and out came a new outlook on this year that i can stick to i mean really stick to.
im an artist, so back to the art i go. Im still searching for my muse though.

neoplasticism

I'm sure you've seen it, the primary colours red, yellow, and blue complimented by black, white and gray. The movement started in 1917 in the netherlands otherwise known as de stijl. Although it consists of straight lines and rectangular shapes it was designed to show the utopian ideal of spiritual harmony and order. May seem a litte far out for something so simplistic as this but its actually and interesting movement with a cubistic light. Believe it or not there was actually a house constructed with these dutch neoplasticism rules, the Rietveld schroder House. A few other popular works too but wikipedia the rest haha.

old idols

I remember back in '06 i attempted the "punk" look but it wasnt even punk, it was PUNKER. basically a poor cheap imitation lol. well anyways i was in love with this here girl, fefe dobson. she's brilliant and was my idol when i was younger and still today i think she's darling. Her style has changed just as everyone's does as time goes by but her tiny thin stature goes well with her creative fits. oh! and her music isnt so bad either its the perfect aha! dosage of pop you could use every morning.