in depth.with her

Me(11:02:10 AM): if im unhappy w. surroundings and always frustrated and mad at myself
Me(11:02:18 AM): its impossible to let ur gaurd down
Me(11:02:21 AM): i let it down
Me (11:02:28 AM): and it got me this
Me (11:02:35 AM): "this shitty summer"
Me(11:02:40 AM): as everyone likes to call it
Me(11:02:44 AM): so fck that
Me (11:02:48 AM): gaurd back up
Cynth (11:02:54 AM): :/
Me (11:03:00 AM): he'll come find me, when he wants to
cynth is i (11:03:05 AM): i can understand that
Me(11:03:07 AM): im just sick of seeming desperate
Me (11:03:15 AM): im like calling him whenever i can
Me(11:03:20 AM): planning ways to see him
Me(11:03:29 AM): and none of it falls through or pays off
Me (11:03:31 AM): so in the end
Me (11:03:33 AM): im left here
Me(11:03:43 AM): alone....and wondering what the fck am i doing?
Me(11:03:49 AM): can u tell me?
Me(11:03:51 AM): -___-
Me(11:03:58 AM): its pathetic actually.
Cynth(11:04:07 AM): ughhh
Cynth(11:04:35 AM): i can see where you're coming from and its hard for me to find the words to say :/
Me(11:04:59 AM): ....yup
Me(11:05:06 AM): only logical thing to do
Me(11:05:09 AM): is retreat
Me(11:05:17 AM): care about yourself. fix YOU
Me(11:05:22 AM): fck the world right now lol
Cynth(11:05:23 AM): in all honesty, despite my suicidal tendencies you're a lot more pessimistic than i am :/
Me(11:05:45 AM): because when i get hurt i have self realizations
Me (11:05:52 AM): and this is just what ive concluded
Me(11:06:04 AM): prove me wrong, by all means, prove me wrong

3.71 GPA

damn. i was soooo close to that fucking 4.00 i can taste ;p.
in actuallity i couldve got a 4.1o butttt 4.oo was more realistic. lol
oh well, next semester i'll get it, like i'll make sure i get it.
wow, senior year is like right around the corner. im still tripping out on that ;o


my real life is really aboutta begin. wow.
im hella old as fuck.