kiss me deadly.

Weekend whirlwinds. Right now everything is a blur, reality is not sinking in completely i guess. Like swimming in a sea of codeine, i dont know what should be real let alone what i want.
Despite it all the one person who is my world returned to me. For the last year i've been living off memories but now he's back. So why the hell do i have this blank reaction to what should be my glory moment. I really am happy but i dont know its like lately i cant express my emotions right. It worries me it really does. There's just so much shit that comes along with what makes me happy, perhaps thats where this "blankness" is comming from. What.do.i...really want?
That saturday was so amazing...the kiss meant the world to me. i felt so loved. Yet im lethargic and apathetic. I cant stand this, im like losing sight of myself.
i'm convinced i cant live with myself at the moment. You have to fix the breaks in your own life before you can fully enjoy everything and everyone else.

GAW...ive been away from artists for too long.
Artists come back to me, art i need you. here my plea?